First Annual 9/11 Memorial Puppy Hugging Parade Manifseto
When I first thought up the idea of hosting the First Annual 9/11 Memorial Puppy Hugging Parade, no one told me I was crazy, no one told me it would never work. No one did these things because no one believed I would actually go through with it. Probably because I talk a lot of shit. Also, it didn’t help that I bailed on the Arbor Day Otter Knock Knock Joke Competition (every punchline had to be “Arbor’nt you glad I didn’t say otter?!”)
But then, when people found out I was serious, they said, “Kurt, a 9/11 Memorial Puppy Hugging Parade doesn’t even make sense!” And I said to them, “You know what doesn’t make sense… a lot of things!” I am terrible at comebacks.
But I went home that night and as I usually do, thought up 100 good comebacks just in case that exact situation ever came up again. It never did. So let me just say this:
You know what doesn’t make sense? Burning books in remembrance of fallen loved ones. That doesn’t make sense.
You know what doesn’t make sense? Prohibiting people’s freedom to practice their religion wherever they want? That doesn’t make sense.
You know what doesn’t make sense? That creepy animated owl movie? That doesn’t make sense. (I know not necessarily 9/11 related but its true.)
Here’s why a 9/11 Memorial Puppy Hugging Parade DOES makes sense:
9/11 is hard. Puppy Hugging is easy. Let’s combine them and make it medium.
Terrorist attacks are existentially horrifying. Puppies aren’t even aware of existentialism.
9/11 makes humans and puppies sad. Hugging Puppies does the exact opposite. (It has not been scientifically proven that puppies like hugs, but let’s just assume, ok?)
So please, won’t you join me on Monday September 13th, 2010, at Littlefield in Park Slope/Gowanus Brooklyn,(http://www.littlefieldnyc.com/) for the First Annual 9/11 Memorial Puppy Hugging Parade, followed by a comedy show featuring the wonderful Hannibal Buress, Dan St. Germain, Aparna Nancherla, and Murderfist. Proceeds will be donated to Dog Habitat Rescue (http://doghabitat.org/) And there will be puppies at the parade that need adopting!
This is our call to arms. To use them for hugging. Hugging puppies.
Monday we will make the world a better place! Monday we will take to the streets! Monday we will hug the shit out of some puppies!
Together in puppy hugs,
Kurt Braunohler
full event invite:
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?created&¬e_id=432118989015#!/event.php?eid=152276684802343&ref=mf
